Over a Cup of Green Tea

When you have been married for more than 10 years, you start to feel that you know everything about your spouse. Things that were endearing during the first couple of years of marriage don’t seem so cute anymore. Life becomes predictable. We start taking each other for granted. Our expectations have grown and disappointments too. You know exactly how your spouse will react in a particular situation. There’s no element of surprise and life seems so boring.

Daniel and I hit a similar patch last year and we felt like there’s nothing new happening with us. The office hours and other responsibilities did not help much. Though we live in the same house, it felt like we met each other only on weeekends and our life was so busy that sometimes we were busy doing other stuff on weekends as well.

I noticed him putting on weight and not caring about it. It was irritating for me because I cant dream of a life without fitness. He wanted me to go watch movies with him and I was not so interested in that. Being completely opposite doesn’t help this situation. We were always opposites but we used to do things together before, but now we just stopped trying. He loves eating out and I had lot of reservations about outside food. I always prefer home food. We started doing the things we like with other people. He would go out with his friends, I would be busy with my Zumba class. I could see we were drifting apart, not because of anything major but just these small differences.

We both knew, we had to work on our relationship. We just cant do our own things for the rest of our lives. We love each other too much. We both realised we were being selfish and we need more grace in our relationship. I thought to myself, I can ignore the wet towels on the bed and not make an issue about it every time. Daniel can ignore the scratch on my watch and not be mad at me every time he sees the scratch. I can go out and eat and not be too uptight about my diet. Daniel can accompany me for a cup of green tea and not hate it so much. When we started working on our marriage, we again started to see things that mattered and not silly annoying things that did not matter at all. I could see a loving husband, an amazing father, a wonderful worship leader, a compassionate man and so much more. I couldn’t see the wet towels anymore, Daniel stopped seeing a nagging wife (lol), I started going out for dinner and movie and Daniel started working out and eating clean. We decided to capture the good qualities that we see in each other rather than focusing and pointing out the bad ones. We stopped expecting each other to be perfect. I always wanted a perfect life with a perfect husband, a perfect child ; but I think perfect is boring. You need these ups and downs to keep you grounded and humble so that you continue to work towards making things better.

We have started laughing together, eating together, watching movies together, raising an amazing daughter together and having green tea together. There’s nothing that a green tea cannot fix, you just need to overcome the annoying taste it has in the beginning to experience the goodness and fulfilment that it has to offer – Just like marriage!

Green Tea for Two – Just me and You!!!

9 Years Down….forever to go!!

Date: 6th May 2008

Place: Church

Occasion: Wedding Rehearsal

Time: I’m late!!!

As I rush to Church for my Wedding Rehearsal, I had a lot of things on my mind. How is Dan doing? Is he nervous about tomorrow? Did he get his suit ready? How would I look in my wedding gown? How is it possible that I really did not lose any weight in the last three months even after practically starving myself? Do we have enough food for all our relatives at home? Will they like the accommodation arrangements done for them? Do we have enough food to feed them? Will the salon guys make me look really pretty? Will I remember my wedding vows?

As I stepped into the church, I found everyone there waiting for me. And there he was – Dan Dan!!

We practiced walking down the aisle beginning with the cute little flower girls and page boys followed by the bridesmaids, groomsmen and then the Bride – ME!!! ( Really? ME ?? I’m getting married??) Our Pastor made us repeat the vows and everything seemed very easy. It’s so simple. Nothing can go wrong!! I just have to be on time and say “I DO!!”

Date: 7th May 2008

Place: Church

Occasion: Wedding

Time: I’m early and waiting for the groom(who is LATE…Good Job Dan!!)

Since I was early, the photographer thought this was a perfect time to click some pictures. I was dressed in a beautiful white gown with a pretty veil covering my head and face. I just stepped out of the car to get my pictures clicked and the worst thing happened. A crow decided he wanted to do his business on my veil not to forget on my wedding day!!! I HATE CROWS!!! And I have no idea what the crow had for lunch because I was really surprised with the quality and quantity of his business (GROSS!!!!) Everyone around me gasped and they were unable to react to what they had just witnessed. One of my aunties wiped it off and told me it was good luck (Seriously!!). So the pictures came out well with me giving a variety of expressions!!

Someone yelled – ‘The Groom is HERE!!’ I was pushed back into the car as the Groom is not supposed to see his Bride before the wedding.

We started walking down the aisle. I could see Dan standing there near the altar and giving me the biggest smile I had ever seen on him. All my friends and families were up on their feet to welcome me as I walked towards Dan. This was the greatest day of my life. But the veil covering my face was stinking… A LOT. I felt something funny happening in my stomach. Then I saw the photographer clicking my pictures and buried all my emotions down and gave a big big smile. It was so big that some people got offended that the bride seemed too happy.

Yes, it was the greatest day of my life!!

Yes, I’m marrying the love of my life!!

Yes, all my loved ones are here to bless me!!

But  NO NO NO the BRIDE is not supposed to look so happy on HER WEDDING DAY!

So, that walk seemed to last forever. My uncle placed my hand on Dan’s hand and Dan held it so tight as if he was scared I would run away. Everyone started singing and Dan whispered into my ears. I was hoping for – “My God!! You look so beautiful” or “I can’t believe we are getting married” or “ I love you” or “My God!! You look so beautiful” and Dan says – “My God!! We forgot the unity candles and Communion Set.” I just had a mini heart attack. Are we allowed to forget these things? Aren’t they like very very important in the wedding ceremony? Our Pastor was very cool so he went ahead with the wedding irrespective of the things we forgot.

Behind the Scenes:

Bridesmaid : Where’s the groom’s ring?

My mum: It’s with Dan’s mum

Bridesmaid : Where’s the groom’s ring?

Dan’s mum: It’s with Jen’s mum


Dan’s mum (removes her ring from her finger): I found the ring!!

Bridesmaid: Where’s the ring box?

Dan’s mum: This ring came without the box

Our Pastor announces exchange of rings. Dan puts the ring on my finger and it looked perfect. On the other hand, I tried to put the ring ( his mother’s ring – I was totally unaware) and it was small for him. We both looked at each other confused and I decided to try again, this time with all my strength ( I really really wanted to get married that day) and it worked!! Two ring on two fingers – we were officially married and were pronounced Husband and Wife. Everyone went crazy. So much excitement in the church!!

We were taken to sign our marriage certificate and we had a legal document stating that WE WERE MARRIED.

Awesome food, Great music, loads of pictures, many many blessings, lots of hugs and kisses and we were on our way to our Honeymoon!!

After Honeymoon:

Me: Where’s the Marriage Certificate?

Bridesmaid: It’s with your Mum

Me: Where’s the Marriage Certificate?

My Mum: It’s with Dan’s Mum

Me: Where’s the Marriage Certificate?

Dan’s Mum: It’s with the bridesmaid


Oh well! We can laugh about it now!!

Ceremonies, Rings and Certificates don’t define a Perfect Wedding or a Healthy Marriage!! Being in LOVE and Staying in LOVE is all that matters 🙂 🙂 🙂

9 Years Down… FOREVER to go!!!



A Weight Loss Adventure – Part 4 : Being a Better Version of YOU!!!


The entire neighbourhood must have heard that!! It did not matter. All the mattered at that moment was the fact that I could wear my favourite kurta (which was not at all possible three months back) and it fits me perfectly now. I had a huge grin on my face as I proudly wore it and walked to the dining area to have my lemon juice with honey which I have apparently started to love now. My husband was sitting there watching cricket and he looked at me and said, “You look thin…. in a good way!!” I just looked away to hide the huge grin that wouldn’t leave my face and tried to be as cool as possible while responding back. “You think so??”, I asked in a very casual tone as if his compliment held no value in my sight. “Yes, you’re looking pretty”, he said. Again, in a very casual tone I said, “I’m getting late for work!! Bye bye.” Finally I get to be the wife who gets noticed by her husband when a cricket match is being aired live on television. Woohooo!!!

You get noticed a lot when you are the girlfriend or the fiancée or the new bride. But that somehow starts to fade off once the honeymoon phase is over. And for all the people who don’t know me, I like getting noticed – A LOT. When I was in school, I was a first bencher – partly because of my short height; but I took complete advantage of my position to impress my teachers. I was always there on the first bench trying to get noticed by all the teachers. Things changed when I went to college. I was not so much interested in getting noticed by the professors now. I had this particular person whose attention I tried to grab whenever possible – Daniel!! And I got loads of attention from him – so no complaints there (Hehe)

When you are the girlfriend, you get flowers and chocolates and presents and surprises. It continues when you are the fiancée and the new bride. But later, you have to wait for your birthday or your anniversary to get some attention.All coins have two sides and there is an other side to this coin as well. When you’re dating, you do everything to look your best. But now when you have started living with the person, it’s not possible to look your best always. Somewhere down the lane, we start taking our better halves for granted. We also take ourselves for granted. We stop paying attention to details like we used to before getting married. We stop taking care of our body like we used to when we were young. It might seem that all these things don’t matter; but it does!! Over a period of time, you start getting frustrated about everything – nobody notices you, nobody compliments you, nobody admires you, nobody adores you, nobody looks up to you – that’s when you realize that you are NOBODY!!!

This realization really helped me to become a better version of me. The workouts, the nutritious balanced diet, adequate sleep, lot of water and loads of love from loved ones did wonders for me. I went for aerobics that evening and checked my weight. I had lost 3 kgs that month and lost the remaining 5 kgs in the next three months. The best part of this entire adventure was the fact that I started eating proper balanced diet and loved it too. Of course, being a foodie, I had my own set of weaknesses.  I had my cheat days too, but now I knew how much to have and when to stop. I became more confident, I was happier and I could wear all my college clothes again (but I wouldn’t want to wear them because I had really bad fashion sense back then… lol). So I had to OBVIOUSLY buy new clothes two sizes smaller and I felt really good about it.

Well, that is certainly not the end of my weight loss adventure; in fact it’s just the beginning!! Will write soon about my next adventure – SWEET Beginnings!!

Until then, live, love and strive to be a better version of YOU!!!


The Weight Loss Adventure – Part 3

Someone told me that if you follow something religiously for 21 days, it becomes a habit. I decided to test that. The diet that was provided to me by my dietitian was extremely boring, but I decided to go through the 21 days challenge. Of course, it was difficult, very very difficult. I am a tamilian. I need my Sambar Rice every day. Also let’s not forget I’m a pure non vegetarian and I definitely cannot survive on salads. So, I decided to follow the diet for 21 days and then have a grand feast on the 22nd day (Eeek!!)

My morning began with lemon juice and honey. I had five small meals. And my day ended with my favorite dessert ‘Dates’. I stopped eating out. There was no junk intake. The wada pavs and pani puris that my husband enjoyed in my presence did not make it any easier for me. Apart from the diet, I attended my aerobics classes 6 times a week. I used to check my weight every single day and would be seriously disappointed with the result. There was absolutely no change. I decided to check my weight only after the 21 days challenge.

My aerobics class was an adventure too.

The first day I was in class before time. I put on my socks and shoes and was ready to rock and roll. Once the class started, I realized I did not rock and I barely rolled. People were running around with their expert dance moves. Their feet hardly touched the ground. One moment they were in one corner of the room away from me doing some steps and by the time I reached that corner, they would dance towards the opposite side almost trampling me. This continued for the next 5-6 days until I got a hang of it. Once I understood the moves and counts and beats and steps, it was super awesome. The time I spent at the aerobics center just flew. I enjoyed every moment, every song, every step and every beat. My trainer was super awesome too. I was doing the easier version (level one) and would just admire the level two people throughout the class. They were flawless and they did such complicated steps so easily. I met some of the ladies who looked like they were college students but they turned out to be beautiful mothers. Some even had teenage children. I was so amazed by their stamina and their energy level and wished I could dance like them too someday.

I started developing new interests like workout clothes, jackets, bags and shoes which did not amuse my husband at all. He kept telling me not to compare my clothes and shoes with the trainer’s stuff because those are their work clothes and I did not earn enough to spend so much on gym clothes apart from my work clothes which I wore to college. I know it sounds really complicated. But when it comes to shopping, my husband makes an enormous effort to keep me out of the malls. But, he was kind enough to buy me some stuff to keep me motivated in my new adventure. On the 21st day, I was rejoicing because it was the last day of my diet challenge and I was really really excited to check my weight too. I was also excited about my feast and I had made big plans with my husband. Dinner date after a long long time!!!

I was getting ready for work and one of my favourite kurta fell out of my cupboard. I loved it but it wouldn’t fit anymore. I wanted to try it but did not want to get disappointed at the beginning of the day. But, I mustered courage and tried it on.

Did it fit?? I will tell you soon and share some more exciting stuff. I will also update you about the 21 days challenge. Until then get out, explore, learn new things and have fun. Life is too short to miss out on things that make you really happy!!


Becka’s Fourth Month Photoshoot – The Cute Tortoise and the Supercute Hare!!!

Once upon a time there lived a happy little baby tortoise in the jungle. Since the tortoise was the only cute little animal, everyone loved her. All the other animals played with her, danced with her, partied with her and treated her like the queen of the jungle.
Then one day all the animals suddenly disappeared and did not come to play with the tortoise. The tortoise had hosted a grand party but still none of them showed up. Tortoise got to know that it was no longer the cutest animal and there was a new rabbit in town which was the cutest and now all the other animals loved her.


The tortoise decided to take this new rabbit down and declared a race. They had decided that the winner will host a grand party for all the animals of the jungle.


The cute Rabbit agreed and the race began

The rabbit was swift and ran much faster than the tortoise. The tortoise however was not afraid because she knew how this story ends. She knew that the rabbit would get overconfident and sleep on the way. The rabbit ran and ran until it entered a place with lot of yummy vegetables and decided to stop and eat.


The rabbit loved the veggies and wondered if she would have to share them if she won and had to throw the victory party. So she decided to act as if she was sleeping and let the tortoise win so that she won’t have to throw the party and share her yummy veggies.



The tortoise reached the finish line while the rabbit pretended to sleep and everybody including the cute rabbit had fun partying with the tortoise again!!!

Moral of the story: Slow and steady wins the race
And more importantly My mom and aunt are jobless these days!!

Hug your Dad!!!

A father will always be his daughter’s first love. If I start writing about my Daddy, I can write a book (a big fat book).

So, when I was about three years old, I wouldn’t eat without my Daddy. I would wait for him to come home and feed me. Also, he had to tell me a story without which I would never eat. I was so self obsessed that I only liked stories featuring me. So, my Dad had to cook up a story every night with me as the main character just so I would finish my dinner. He was the best story-teller in town!!

When I started school, my Dad used to do everything as my Mom left for work early morning. He would get me ready, help me with my complicated uniform, feed me breakfast while I struggled with my shoes, help me wear my shoes and drop me at school. On the way to school, he would protect me from cows, dogs, donkeys and all the other ferocious animals in our locality. He was my HERO.

Growing up, I never had to ask him for anything. I used to hold his hand and walk and whenever I saw something I liked, I would secretly give him a nudge (so that my Mummy would not notice) and he would get it for me. Never was he so involved in his thoughts or any discussion to miss my signal. He was always there for me.

Of course, there were times when he had to say NO to me and I would get so upset with him. I now know why but then I was too immature to understand that he was saying NO for my own good.

During my teenage years, I told my Dad not to drop me at school as I had my friends and I did not need him anymore. All of a sudden, parents were replaced by friends. I could see him standing at the window and waving till I reached the end of the road. I was still afraid of dogs, cows and donkeys but was just too proud to admit that I still needed my Daddy. He still loved me unconditionally.

As I started college, my demands had increased. I wanted more pocket-money, wanted him to buy me stuff like a mobile phone, a two wheeler, wanted him to let me stay out with my friends longer. These were my demands apart from my food, clothing, education and accommodation. He gave me everything I asked for. I really wonder now how he managed everything with his income. I took him for granted.

I found love during my college days. I would be on the phone with him all the time. I would run to answer my phone. Sometimes my Daddy also gave me a call from his office. Whenever my phone rang, I started to wish it was from my love and not from my Daddy.

I went to spend my summer vacation with my grandmother. I got very sick and had to extend my stay since I was not fit to travel. This was the longest I had stayed away from my parents. When I came back, my Dad hugged me and cried. He couldn’t bear to see me so weak and sick. I don’t remember if I hugged back.

I lost my Daddy when I was in my final year of college. I was not prepared for this. You don’t realize how much someone means to you until they are gone. I miss him terribly. I long for those days, long for those moments. I long for one last meal with him, one last story about me, one last walk to my school, one last secret nudge, one last phone call, one last hug.

Hug your Dad and make him feel special. He has devoted his life to make you who you are and he loves you more than you can ever imagine!!!

The Finish Line

We were sitting at the Cochin airport waiting for our flight that was going to take us back to Mumbai. The honeymoon period was over and the time to face life as a married woman was just hours away. New roles, new responsibilities, new family, new home, new husband, new place – that was  lot of change happening over such short duration. I was just standing at the starting point of my married life, but was I really ready for this race? Did I sign up for something without understanding the level of commitment it required? Will I win this race or lose miserably? These scary doubts were making me dizzy.

I’m sure my husband was also going through similar emotions as he was super quiet too. I asked him to buy me a magazine and he refused saying he wanted to talk. I really wanted some quiet time and just wanted to read but my husband insisted on talking. This is the difference between us – he likes to talk when there is an issue and I like to keep quiet and deal with it on my own. Maybe it’s because I have no siblings, so being the only child I generally deal with my emotions on my own. That was not the case with my husband. Over the years, things have changed for both of us; now I talk and he ‘keeps quiet’ (lol) but back then this was the case.

Since, he was totally disturbed by my silence; he decided to irritate me so much that I would talk. Men!!!

He started commenting on my bag and said I got it from the street (which was true coz I love street shopping). There was a brand name written on it and he started taunting and said, “You use fake products.” I was in no mood for his dark humour. I snapped back -” At least my bag has a fake brand; your bag has no brand”, I said. To which he replied, “My bag is an honest bag. It doesn’t believe in being fake like your bag.” I made fun of the colour of his bag and he made fun of my bag’s design. I proudly stated that my bag had trolley wheels and his bag had none. Lot of meaningless taunts and comments were exchanged until it was time to bid farewell to our bags at the airport check-in desk. Finally the bags were out of our sight but the argument still continued throughout the journey and lasted till we reached our destination.

We were waiting for our bags to come in the Mumbai airport. The conveyor belt started moving and the passengers started picking up their respective bags. We were eagerly waiting for our bags and I spotted my bag and it looked different. Something was wrong with it. When it came closer I noticed one of the handle was broken and I was shocked. My husband couldn’t control his laughter. He said, “This is what happens when you buy fake products!” I was super annoyed by now and decided to turn a deaf ear to all his comments which kept coming for the next five minutes and it stopped only after he spotted his bag with both the handles gone, zip messed up and damaged completely. Now it was my turn to laugh but I just decided to remain expressionless because I know he gets annoyed with my expressionless face more.  I tugged my bag with one handle and moved towards the exit while my husband carried his bag as if he was holding a baby in his arms. After we got into the cab, we looked at each other and laughed and laughed all the way back home.

Our race together had started and it started with a bang. A marriage is a race where there is no finish line. The winner always runs till his last breath. The judgment will be done based on how well this runner has inspired his partner to try new things and to live a fuller life. Did he live for his love or was he just living for himself? Did he contribute anything of worth to their marriage or was he just snoozing in his comfort zone??  Did he try to make their relationship work or did he give up? Did he live his life or did he just let life pass by? Did he pursue his dreams with his partner or did he just run alone? Did he embrace love or did he take his loved one for granted? Well, it is a tough race, but it’s not impossible. So run to win!!

Our first fight was meaningless but it kept us away from the scary future thoughts which were clouding our heads. We came back home laughing and not sulking. We couldn’t wait to share our funny baggage story with our family. Everyone laughed, we enjoyed homemade food after a long time, watched our wedding video which was delivered just the day before and retired to bed.  The future did not seem so scary because I was not facing it alone. I had a companion for life and we were ready to embrace the future together. We were ready for the race – the race with NO FINISH LINE!!!

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The Weight loss Adventure -Part 2 : ‘Dear Food, I miss you!!’

After gaining almost 7 kgs, I was desperately in need of a grand plan. Gym was certainly not working out for me. The street food available outside the gym was definitely not helping too. After working out for an hour claiming to work out for an hour, you get really really hungry. I decided to QUIT the gym!!

One lazy afternoon I was just casually browsing and came across an advertisement of an aerobic center. I read the description and it seemed quite interesting. I picked up my bag, wore my flip-flops and rushed to the fitness center. Fortunately, they were having one of their sessions and the kind lady at the reception asked me if I wanted to take a trial. I was too nervous and decided to just watch.

The trainer was amazing. She was floating around like an angel. There were two sets of people – level one (who looked like beginners) and level two (who looked like experts). The uplifting music to which the members were dancing was awesome. They all looked happy and were having fun unlike people at my gym. They had pictures of all the members who had achieved maximum weight loss which motivated me a lot. I registered with them  and they gave me free sessions with the dietitian.

The dietitian interviewed me for a while and told me that I had a condition called ‘latent obesity’. I did not know what it meant but I just nodded my head because I didn’t want to look stupid on the first day and also because I have Google. So I went back home and checked the meaning and I was not happy at all.

Latent: existing in hidden or dormant form

Obesity:  an abnormal accumulation of body fat

I had abnormal accumulation of body fat in hidden form which can just pop out anytime. So, apart from the weight I have already gained, I also have hidden fats!!! No wonder I don’t lose any weight; I have hidden fats all over my body.

The dietitian also gave me a small food diary and she told me to record my food intake. She told me to record even the tiniest thing that I ate. This was on a Saturday; so I had Sunday for recording my food intake and from Monday onwards I was planning to burn the floor with my smooth moves (lol).

My mom made a traditional south Indian breakfast that morning. It’s called ‘Pal Kolakattai’. I asked my mom the English translation of the dish to write it down in my food diary and she said ‘rice balls in sweet thick milk’. Alright, then!!! This was my food chart

10.00 am: Two bowls of rice balls in sweet thick milk

11.00 am: Three pieces of dairy milk fruit and nut chocolate

11.10 am: Three more pieces of dairy milk fruit and nut chocolate

11.20 am: Banana milkshake

11.35 am: 10 to 15 peanuts

11.55 am: Three more pieces of dairy milk fruit and nut chocolate

1.30 pm: One plate Mutton biriyani with vegetable raita (It’s Sunday!!!)

1.55 pm: One bowl of rice balls in sweet thick milk (Dessert)

2.15 pm: One chocobar ice cream candy

2.45 pm: A small bowl of mixed nuts

3.45 pm: Variety of chips (potato/banana) – one bowl

4.00 pm: Three pieces of dairy milk fruit and nut chocolate (Finally finished the chocolate bar)

5.00 pm: Two bowls of rice balls in sweet thick milk (Evening snack)

9.45 pm: Four pieces of chicken kabab, one glass virgin pina colada, a bowl of chicken fried rice with chicken Manchurian gravy, one small bowl of pineapple raita, and for dessert one bowl of fruit salad with jelly and ice-cream and nuts (It’s Sunday!! We eat out)

12.00 am: One bowl of rice balls in sweet thick milk (Midnight snack and because I love it. Stop judging me!!!!)

I was supposed to use the small food diary to record a month’s food intake and I had already finished half of it!! Boy oh Boy, I finally realized the reason for my weight gain…Oops!! I noticed in my diary that I did not eat anything between 5.00 pm and 9.45 pm. That was only because it was Sunday and I was in Church, otherwise I’m sure I would have not taken this long break from eating. Also, I started eating at 10.00 am only because I was sleeping till 10.

The next day, I showed my diary to my dietitian and the first thing she noticed was the rice balls in sweet thick milk and she told me I had to stop eating it. OK!! That was predictable. But what was unpredictable was the food chart that she made in my diary which I was supposed to follow because she no longer believed in the choices I made.

8.00 am: One glass lime water with honey

9.00 am: One egg

10.30 am: Three idlis with small portion of chutney (avoid coconut chutney)

12.00 pm: Sprouts (What!!! I am a human being!!!)

1.30 pm: Two small chappatis (without oil), one bowl dal, one bowl vegetables, salad (I am a south Indian. Where is my Sambar Rice?? )

4.00 pm: A bowl of fresh fruits

6.00 pm: 2 fiber biscuits and one cup milk (Two?? Really???)

9.00 pm: One small chappati, One small bowl of rice, one bowl of dal, one bowl of vegetables/chicken/fish, salad (No mutton for a while she mentioned with a smile on her face)

10.00 pm: One glass milk

I was pretty sure I will die of hunger and boredom after following this schedule for a MONTH. She also said not to eat out and to only eat homemade food. This is so much pressure. I am a foodie and I cannot survive with just home food. She told me to stick to the diet and meet her after a month. This was not fun anymore. Dieting, like gymming was not my thing. But I hated being fat and the term latent obesity kept ringing in my head. I wanted to fit into my favorite skinny jeans again.

I will write soon about this new adventure.

Until then LIVE every MOMENT and don’t forget to EAT RIGHT!!



The Grand Proposal!!

It’s been nine years now and it seems like I just met him. Two months back we celebrated our proposal anniversary. I really doubt whether we should call it that because there was hardly any proposal. There was no ring, no flowers, nobody went down on one knee, nobody said ‘I love you’ and nobody kissed.

It was the Saturday between Good Friday and Easter. Since, we both are Christians; we were supposed to be super busy. It was a long weekend and we had three days leave from college. Usually, I hated going to college and loved holidays. Under normal circumstances, I would have been super happy with the three day long weekend; but, I was stupidly in love with a boy, who had no idea of how I felt for him. So holidays were times away from him and I felt awful about it. Once you are married, you truly wish for alone time; but that was not the case back then. I wanted to be with him all the time.

All our mutual friends thought that we would be great together. They said we would be perfect for each other. I secretly wished he believed that too. But, things were never going in the direction I wanted them to go.

I remember asking him to join my batch so that we would be in the same project batch on the first day of college and he asked me if there were any good looking girls in that batch… Grrr!! He would ask me why my hair was so curly and out of control and why was I so short. He hated my dressing sense and would ask me why I wear heels to college. He would have an opinion about everything I wore and everything I did. He was also vocal about the way I sang, the way I danced and the way I spoke. When one of our friends suggested that he should date me, he said, “Whoever TAKES this MISS would commit a grave MISTAKE” My one sided secret love affair seemed awfully pathetic to me and I decided to move on. I heard somewhere that when little boys like little girls they throw rocks at them; that is their way of showing affection. I did not realize that these were the rocks thrown at me as a symbol of his affection. Honestly, I don’t understand why people say women are complicated. It’s totally the other way around.

Friday evening I suddenly got a call from him and this was our conversation:

Him: You know what?? I did something that I never do. I lied to my mother

Me (confused): About what?

Him: That I wanted to buy a book… but I just wanted to get out so that I can speak with you

Me: Hmmm??!!!!???!!!!….

Him: Can I come early tomorrow to you place? I want to talk something important

Me: Ok

I could not sleep that night. What was so important that he had to lie to his mother? I was super confused and decided to wait. Next day, early morning he came home. We were supposed to have a group study session later that day and he wanted to talk to me before all the other guys got there. This conversation was in no way better than the conversation we had the previous day

Him: You know, in the movies, when hero says he cannot live without the heroine….

Me: Yes…

Him: I used to find that funny… But now…. I don’t find it funny

Me: Hmm…

Him: Are you getting what I’m trying to say

Me: Yes!!!! I feel the same way

That’s it!!! That was the GRAND PROPOSAL to which I said YES!!

He smiled at me and I smiled back. He asked me if he can hold my hand and I happily let him hold and we held hands for almost two hours without talking anything until our friends arrived.

I was the happiest person on earth when I got to know he liked me for a long long time and was having trouble expressing it.

9 years from then, that love has multiplied tremendously. I once was in love with a boy in college, but later I fell in love with the man who took care of me, the partner who shared all my joys and sorrows, the husband who would give up anything for his wife, the son who knew how to love his parents, the son-in-law who knew how to love my mother, the brother who cherishes and loves his siblings, the father who adores his daughter.

And I thought I loved you THEN!!!

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The Not-So-Perfect Life

One of my blogs ‘Things you realize only after getting married’ got lot of positive comments. People could relate to it and many of them shared their stories as well. But, there was one specific comment that caught my attention and left me sleepless. This reader enlightened me with the practical facts of life which made me snap out of the chick flick scenario I had painted in my blog. The reader asked me if all marriages were made in heaven. She asked me about the forced marriages which bring so much heartache. She spoke about the marriages where the couple just manages to tolerate the relationship for the sake of their children. She wondered if God was partial; if He gives happy endings to some and endless trauma to some in their marriages.

Though I married my best friend, I was still totally freaked out about getting married. I had to change everything – my last name, my home, my family and so much more. It was not easy for me to adapt even though I knew my husband so well. I wonder how people cope up with arranged marriages where they don’t know the other person, their family at all.  What if this person turns out to be a total monster? What if his family fails to accept them as their own? This is like jumping into water without being sure if you still remember your swimming lessons; whether you will swim successfully or drown miserably.

My mother and father had the perfect arranged marriage. My mother saw my father only on the day of their wedding … Aaah!! I don’t know how she agreed to marry him without knowing anything about him; she did not even get a picture to look at because my father was working in Mumbai and was not available for a photo shoot before the wedding…lol. My grandfather met my father and he loved him instantly. My mother on the other hand was not at all happy to get married to an unknown man and move to a new city. Everything was new to her – the person, the city, the language, the lifestyle. My grandfather took a day off to convince my mother that he was doing the right thing and that my father was the perfect match. My mother still says that was the best decision my grandfather made because eventually life was nothing less than a fairy tale for them. Of course they first got married, then had a baby (ME) and then fell in love when they finally got time to get to know each other. I still love this love story which has a charm of its own.

We all have our own stories. Some of us may feel we married the wrong person, some of us may feel we got married at the wrong time, some of us are still waiting for the prince charming and the wait seems endless and some of us may feel we are stuck at the wrong place. Uncertainty is the worst place to be in and I have been there and still remember how scary it was. But, when you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up. It cannot get worse. Now when I look back, I can see how beautifully God had planned everything and I was just too worried to see it back then.

God is not partial. God has not given anyone ‘The Perfect Life’.  Life is a roller coaster ride. Sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down. I may have a perfect marriage but I most certainly have other struggles. Nobody has a perfect life and I feel perfect lives will be really boring. The essence of life is facing the struggles and emerging out victoriously. Struggles teach us so many things. I’m so thankful for all the struggles because they have made me who I am today. It’s the scars and bruises from the struggles that write my story. Those struggles have taught me to rely completely on God and have made me stronger than I ever was before. I am not afraid of my ‘Not so Perfect life’. I love my life just the way it is!!

So, LIVE every moment, LOVE with all your heart and LAUGH without fear of the future!!

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