One of my blogs ‘Things you realize only after getting married’ got lot of positive comments. People could relate to it and many of them shared their stories as well. But, there was one specific comment that caught my attention and left me sleepless. This reader enlightened me with the practical facts of life which made me snap out of the chick flick scenario I had painted in my blog. The reader asked me if all marriages were made in heaven. She asked me about the forced marriages which bring so much heartache. She spoke about the marriages where the couple just manages to tolerate the relationship for the sake of their children. She wondered if God was partial; if He gives happy endings to some and endless trauma to some in their marriages.
Though I married my best friend, I was still totally freaked out about getting married. I had to change everything – my last name, my home, my family and so much more. It was not easy for me to adapt even though I knew my husband so well. I wonder how people cope up with arranged marriages where they don’t know the other person, their family at all. What if this person turns out to be a total monster? What if his family fails to accept them as their own? This is like jumping into water without being sure if you still remember your swimming lessons; whether you will swim successfully or drown miserably.
My mother and father had the perfect arranged marriage. My mother saw my father only on the day of their wedding … Aaah!! I don’t know how she agreed to marry him without knowing anything about him; she did not even get a picture to look at because my father was working in Mumbai and was not available for a photo shoot before the wedding…lol. My grandfather met my father and he loved him instantly. My mother on the other hand was not at all happy to get married to an unknown man and move to a new city. Everything was new to her – the person, the city, the language, the lifestyle. My grandfather took a day off to convince my mother that he was doing the right thing and that my father was the perfect match. My mother still says that was the best decision my grandfather made because eventually life was nothing less than a fairy tale for them. Of course they first got married, then had a baby (ME) and then fell in love when they finally got time to get to know each other. I still love this love story which has a charm of its own.
We all have our own stories. Some of us may feel we married the wrong person, some of us may feel we got married at the wrong time, some of us are still waiting for the prince charming and the wait seems endless and some of us may feel we are stuck at the wrong place. Uncertainty is the worst place to be in and I have been there and still remember how scary it was. But, when you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up. It cannot get worse. Now when I look back, I can see how beautifully God had planned everything and I was just too worried to see it back then.
God is not partial. God has not given anyone ‘The Perfect Life’. Life is a roller coaster ride. Sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down. I may have a perfect marriage but I most certainly have other struggles. Nobody has a perfect life and I feel perfect lives will be really boring. The essence of life is facing the struggles and emerging out victoriously. Struggles teach us so many things. I’m so thankful for all the struggles because they have made me who I am today. It’s the scars and bruises from the struggles that write my story. Those struggles have taught me to rely completely on God and have made me stronger than I ever was before. I am not afraid of my ‘Not so Perfect life’. I love my life just the way it is!!
So, LIVE every moment, LOVE with all your heart and LAUGH without fear of the future!!